Book Blitz, Excerpt, and Giveaway: In Her Blood


In Her Blood
(The Dagger Chronicles #1)

Janice Jones
Published by: Amberjack Publishing
Publication date: May 1st 2015
Genres: New Adult, Romance, Supernatural

Alex Stone wants to pretend the supernatural doesn’t exist.

As the owner of a hot new clothing line, the only thing she’s killing is her competition – until she gets a phone call from her past. As the Dagger, she was a member of the covert ops team tasked with hunting threats of the supernatural kind. For the super soldiers of Night Command, the rules were simple: take the pills, fight the bad guys, and live to tell no one. After putting a bad-ass vampire on ice landed her in a padded cell, Alex thought she’d left the hunting game for good. Now she’s in the orbit of a handsome vampire with a problem. And sometimes keeping secrets bites.

Jason Stavros has the best of everything and life eternal. To the human world, Jason was just a poor boy who made it to the top. For a human turned vampire, the fight for a place in the inner circle of the ruling class hinges on one task: convince the best ex-vampire hunting assassin to become his personal bodyguard and save them all.

Join Alex, Jason and a new team of young hunters as two worlds unite against a common enemy. As the body count begins to rise, Alex and the Tracker Team fight friends and enemies to find the answers they seek.

What’s been happening in the dark will finally come to light.

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She enjoyed seeing those chains of pure silver wrapped around the vampire’s scrawny arms like tattoos. He barely resembled the picture of the old parish priest the Cardinal sent them two weeks ago. His brown skin hung from his bones like an ill-fitting

suit. His paunch bounced up and down as he struggled to get loose. It took longer to catch him, much longer than it should have, but all’s well that ends well.

Alex Stone, call-sign Dagger, ran her fingers through her dark hair. Flakes of dried blood and sand fell as she pulled the dirty mess into a ponytail. Benjamin Palmer, Team Commander, snatched her wounded hand back down and tightened the field dressing as he griped at her about how dumb it was to try to catch the sharp end of a knife with her hand. She knew that . . . now.

“Who do you think you are,” he said as he gave the knot one last yank, “Superman?” Ben checked her busted lip with a shake of his head. “That’s gonna hurt like hell till morning.”

Alex just nodded, taking the pills in her good hand and swallowing them with a quick sip of warm water from his canteen.

Under normal circumstances, Alex would be pulled from the field, evaluated and possibly scrubbed from the next assignment for that stunt. But time was running out and this wasn’t normal, not even for the top vampire hunting team in the country.


Author Bio:

Graduating with a Masters in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University, Janice’s first novel, In Her Blood, is the first book in her vampire adventure series The Dagger Chronicles. This series introduces you to the world of Alexa “Alex” Stone, ex-vampire hunter and assassin turned fashion mogul. Hiding in plain sight, Alex must return to the world of the supernatural in order protect a handsome vampire and her own secrets. Look for Book Two, By Blood Sworn to hit online outlets soon. Janice is looking forward to readers of New Adult Fiction and Vampire lore to embrace a new kind of action adventure hero, a woman with many secrets and many stories to tell.

(Author photo courtesy of Omar Ramos Photography http://www.omarramosphotography.com/Makeup by LaChandra Middlebrooks)

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Cover Reveal: Damned


Alexandrea Weis & Lucas Astor
Publication date: October 3rd 2017
Genres: Adult, Supernatural

Over a hundred years after the death of Magnus Blackwell, Altmover Manor sits abandoned.

Lexie Arden and her fiancée, Will Bennet, are determined to rescue the neglected Mount Desert Island landmark. They want to make Altmover Manor their home. But Magnus has other plans.

A spirit bound to his former residence, Magnus finds himself inexplicably drawn to the young woman. She has a supernatural gift; a gift Magnus wants to exploit.

As Lexie and Will settle in, secrets from Magnus’s past begin to surface. Compelled to learn all she can about the former owner, Lexie becomes immersed in a world of voodoo, curses, and the whereabouts of a mysterious dragon cane.

Magnus’s crimes won’t be so easily forgotten, and what Lexie unearths is going to change the future … for everyone.

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Author Bio:

Alexandrea Weis is an advanced practice registered nurse who was born and raised in New Orleans. Having been brought up in the motion picture industry, she learned to tell stories from a different perspective and began writing at the age of eight. Infusing the rich tapestry of her hometown into her award-winning novels, she believes that creating vivid characters makes a story memorable. A permitted/certified wildlife

rehabber with the Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries, Weis rescues orphaned and injured wildlife. She lives with her husband and pets in New Orleans.

Lucas Astor is from New York, has resided in Central America and the Middle East, and traveled through Europe. He lives a very private, virtually reclusive lifestyle, preferring to spend time with a close-knit group of friends than be in the spotlight.

He is an author and poet with a penchant for telling stories that delve into the dark side of the human psyche. He likes to explore the evil that exists, not just in the world, but right next door behind a smiling face.

Photography, making wine, and helping endangered species are just some of his interests. Lucas is an expert archer and enjoys jazz, blues, and classical music.

One of his favorite quotes is: “It’s better to be silent than be a fool.” ~Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)




Blog Tour, Giveaway, and Review — Time Weaver: Heart of Cogs


Time Weaver: Heart of Cogs
(Time Collector #1)

by Jacinta Maree
Publication date: February 21st 2017
Genres: Steampunk, Supernatural, Young Adult

I have a clock for a heart…and the man who put it there tried to take it out.

Time Collectors are modern day genies capable of exchanging wishes for time. Elizabeth Wicker lives within a steampunk world riddled with the supernatural. Among the stories of witches, Bacts, and other monsters, Time Collectors remain as the greatest hushed secret among the noble families. They are temptation’s greatest tools. A contract with a Time Collector is a guaranteed death sentence, and for some the price isn’t worth the prize. But when Elizabeth is struck down by a fatal heart attack, she finds herself trapped beneath a Time Collector’s blade. With no time left to offer, she makes a desperate sacrifice for a second chance at life. If there’s only one truth, it is a Time Collector will always come back to collect.

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Author Bio:

Born in Melbourne Australia, Jacinta Maree considers herself a chocoholic with an obsession with dragons and Japan. Published in 2012 to USA publisher Staccato Publishing, Jacinta writes a variety of genres from YA paranormal, steampunk, horror and fantasy. Winner of 2014 Horror of the year and best selling author, Jacinta writes to answer all of her absurd questions and to explore themes and characters not often seen in main media.

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Quick Reasons: welcome me back to steampunk!; awesome, thrilling adventure; these characters are complex and astoundingly vibrant; Elizabeth has a bit of the “special snowflake” happening, but I didn’t care; fun, whimsical, dark read akin to The Boy with the Cuckoo Clock Heart

Huge thanks to Jacinta Maree, Ragnarok Publishing, and Xpresso Book Tours for sending me a free digital galley of this title in exchange for an honest review! This in no way altered my read of or opinions on this book.

TW Quote1

Steampunk, my love, I have missed you SO! I am so happy that you can overlook my unavoidable on the side relationships with other genres and accept me so quickly back into your life; I don’t know what I would do without you. Although I don’t seek you out very often, I want you to know that you still remain my FAVORITE genre…and it’s for this reason that I only read you once every few months. Don’t tell the others–I need to keep them in my world so I always know just how much better you are!

Okay, I know that might be going a LITTLE too far–don’t get me wrong, I love all the other genres I read equally. But steampunk… there’s just something special about steampunk that I cannot, for the life of me, bring myself to examine too closely or ruin by reading too much of it. I cannot risk going down the path of no return only to realize that the magic fades…which is why, while I ADORE steampunk so much every time I pick it up, I often go months between readings of the genre. The return is always SO much sweeter than I expect it to be, which is exactly the case with this title!

TW Quote2.jpg

These characters are well-rounded and so vibrantly written, I found myself living in their heads for the duration of the journey. Elizabeth almost immediately called to me–I mean, aside from the fact we share a name, there’s an edge to her that I wasn’t expecting going into this read. She is not as soft as you’re initially led to believe; she has spunk, and intellect, and knows how to fight for herself and her loved ones with aplomb. I admired her strength throughout this journey–especially in those moments when I might have otherwise simply given up. The rest of the cast are just as endearing and, in most instances, wholly redeemable.

The plot is fast-paced and enthralling. I found myself whisked away to another world and plopped down in the middle of the excitement. There’s a bit of a nod to The Boy with the Cuckoo Clock Heart, though this novel is a lot less whimsical and a whole lot darker. The world-building is so well-done, I didn’t find myself questioning anything or becoming confused. Jacinta Maree did an amazingly beautiful job of putting me into the heart (clock though it might be!) of this story, and I cannot WAIT to see what happens in the coming installments!

I definitely recommend this to lovers of steampunk, stories with a focus on time, and entertainingly stubborn characters! Jacinta Maree stuck me straight into the story and ensnared me there between the tocking hands with her vibrant personalities, fast-paced plot, and beautiful world-building. My heart ticks with steampunk, penguins; maybe you should take a chance to find out why with this gorgeous read!



Book Blitz, Excerpt, and Giveaway: The Supernatural Pet Sitter


The Supernatural Pet Sitter
(The Magic Thief, #1)

by Diane Moat
Publication date: March 5th 2017
Genres: Fantasy, Middle-Grade

Every animal can talk to you. You just have to know how to listen.

Pepper Neely is better at this than most, especially because she is in charge of pet sitting all the familiars in her neighborhood. A familiar is a pet magically linked to a witch or warlock. As a gnome, Pepper is no stranger to spells and sorcery. She also knows that, despite their special name, familiars aren’t all that different from regular animals. They get anxious when separated from their people, so Pepper uses her special gnome powers to calm them down. She watches Cranky the high-strung ferret, Frank the laid-back parrot, King Arthur the elderly tortoise, and many others.

Then, something terrible begins happening to the familiars. Someone is stealing their magic! It not only prevents Pepper from communicating with them but breaks their magical connection with their people. When King Arthur’s magic is stolen, his owner’s powers stop working too. Pepper can sense that the tortoise is very scared.

In order to protect the animal’s magic, Pepper decides to track down the culprit. With the help of her best friend, Luna, and her brother, Jax, Pepper fights to protect all of the special pets.

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Familiars don’t do well when they are separated from their witches. That was how Pepper got into the business of pet sitting. Gnomes have a low-level connection with all supernatural animals. Gnomes are kind of like the Dog Whisperer, except that they communicate well with Familiars, basilisks (a magical lizard), unicorns and so on, rather than the more usual “pets”.

Pepper’s business of helping witches by taking care of their Familiars had boomed over the past year. Thank goodness she wasn’t sitting for the McCrorys last month when “it” happened.

Mr. McCrory was an accountant and Mrs. McCrory worked part-time at the downtown Dewitt Mall. Their two kids lived away at college. Mrs. M’s Familiar was a huge, bright-green-and-blue parrot named Frank. Pepper had only checked on the parrot once when the McCrorys drove their kids to their out-of-state campus several months earlier. Frank didn’t cause any trouble, so the job was easy money.

Supposedly, Mrs. M was at work one day last month when she had a “bad feeling” that prompted her to go home to check on Frank. The house seemed undisturbed, and everything looked fine at first. But when Mrs. M went to Frank’s cage, she found him looking away from her. He wouldn’t even turn around when she called his name. When she walked around the cage to greet Frank face-to-face, he had only ducked and bobbed his head the way a normal parrot would. But Frank wasn’t normal.

Next, Mrs. M had reached out to the Familiar with her magic, but got no response from him. Not only that, but she said she had trouble focusing, and even her own magic had felt weak. With hands trembling, she had picked up Frank to try again. Nothing. Since that day, Frank’s magic was gone, and Mrs. M’s magic was broken.



Author Bio:

Diane is a Tennessee transplant, animal rescuer, and nurse. Dog Gone is her debut novel, born from years of hearing animal rescuers say about animal abusers, “If only I could get my hands on that person…” Diane is assisted by her many rescue dogs.

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A Review of Obsidian (Lux #1), by Jennifer Armentrout


Starting over sucks.

When we moved to West Virginia right before my senior year, I’d pretty much resigned myself to thick accents, dodgy internet access, and a whole lot of boring… until I spotted my hot neighbor, with his looming height and eerie green eyes. Things were looking up.

And then he opened his mouth.

Daemon is infuriating. Arrogant. Stab-worthy. We do not get along. At all. But when a stranger attacks me and Daemon literally freezes time with a wave of his hand, well, something… unexpected happens.

The hot alien living next door marks me.

You heard me. Alien. Turns out Daemon and his sister have a galaxy of enemies wanting to steal their abilities, and Daemon’s touch has me lit up like the Vegas Strip. The only way I’m getting out of this alive is by sticking close to Daemon until my alien mojo fades.

If I don’t kill him first, that is.

– – – – –

Rating: 3/5 Stars
Quick Reasons: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was reading Twilight again?; pretty slow start; lots of snark, agnst, and teenage drama; aliens…sort of?; fast-paced second half; some pulse-pounding, sexy moments

Anyone else out there find the first ½ of this book annoyingly like Twilight? No? Just me? Well.

So don’t get me wrong—this wasn’t what I’d call a bad read. But when I started this the other day, I guess I was expecting something a bit more…unexpected. I feel like this was Twilight rewritten with aliens (although their sense of “alienness” is something I found lacking overall)…and I’m not sure it worked for me in the end.

“You don’t look like an alien!’ It seemed important to point that out.

He arched a brow. ‘And what do aliens look like?’

‘Not…not like you,’ I sputtered. ‘They aren’t gorgeous–‘

‘You think I’m gorgeous?’ He smiled.

Let me get into the specifics. The characters are well-rounded. It’s clear from the get-go that Katy isn’t your “average” teenager (though what IS average, really?) Daemon I loathed immediately—with his attitude, who wouldn’t? But none of them really stood out to me, to be honest—they were all thrust into their roles, but given no space to really breathe. They didn’t go above and beyond; they didn’t really tug at my heart or knock me on my butt. They were like actors who’d lost passion for their craft—some witty lines, some epic banter, but overall flat.

The action, as well, was pretty run-of-the-mill. Despite a few weird blips on the supernatural radar, the beginning of this book was just like every other YA read I’ve come across lately: the unusual new kid (a “bright and shiny new toy” for the rest of town); a hyper, instant best friend; a few prickly bullies; and one sexy guy the protag knows she couldn’t possibly have…yet wants anyway. Yawn, yawn, and double yawn.

“Doesn’t he own a shirt?” I asked, grabbing a spade.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Not even in the winter. He’s always running around half-dressed.” She groaned. “Its disturbing that I have to see so much of his…skin. Yuck.” Yuck for her. And hot damn for me.

It wasn’t until about the 60% mark things began getting interesting—and straying away from the heavy Twilight influence. The last few chapters of this book were pretty awesome, in fact! Fast-paced with action, some intriguing and different ideas at play, a few twists and turns I hadn’t expected. If the first part of this had relied more on the story to tell the story, instead of fulfilling the “average teenage love story—with ALIENS!” vibe, this probably would have gotten a higher rating from me honestly; the second part of this was more what I was looking for when I picked up this read.

The plot isn’t bad, overall—besides a slow start, things pick up pace and kept me enthralled enough to want to see what happened next. There’s a twinge of paranormal mystery throughout. In fact, after the halfway mark, even the characters seem like totally different people. The dialogue wasn’t as heavy-handed, forced, or awkward; the characters were more believable and realistic in their actions/reactions. I finally started feeling something other than frustration for them. Too bad it came a bit late in the story.

“Is this what you do with your spare time?” he asked me, ignoring his sister.

“What—are you deciding to talk to me now?” Smiling tightly, I grabbed a handful of mulch and dumped it. Rinse and repeat. “Yeah, it’s kind of a hobby. What’s yours? Kicking puppies?”

I don’t know if this just wasn’t the right book for me, or if the timing was off, or if the heavy Twilight influence is what caused the scrupples…but I didn’t like this as much as I hoped I would. I’d still recommend to lovers of sci fi/fantasy, aliens, and the paranormal—the characters are snarky and quirky once you get past the awkward. So someone tell me: how’s book two? If it’s better than this one, there might be hope for this series with me yet.


A Review of Red Queen (Red Queen #1), by Victoria Aveyard


This is a world divided by blood – red or silver.

The Reds are commoners, ruled by a Silver elite in possession of god-like superpowers. And to Mare Barrow, a seventeen-year-old Red girl from the poverty-stricken Stilts, it seems like nothing will ever change.

That is, until she finds herself working in the Silver Palace. Here, surrounded by the people she hates the most, Mare discovers that, despite her red blood, she possesses a deadly power of her own. One that threatens to destroy the balance of power.

Fearful of Mare’s potential, the Silvers hide her in plain view, declaring her a long-lost Silver princess, now engaged to a Silver prince. Despite knowing that one misstep would mean her death, Mare works silently to help the Red Guard, a militant resistance group, and bring down the Silver regime.

But this is a world of betrayal and lies, and Mare has entered a dangerous dance – Reds against Silvers, prince against prince, and Mare against her own heart…

– – – – –

Rating: 3.75/5 Stars
Quick Reasons: interesting twists and embellishments to the ideas of “supernatural” powers; sometimes awkward, cliched plot twists; a few weird world-building blips; a story I cared about…with characters that I just couldn’t

So. The covers for this series? Absolutely freaking gorgeous. It’s the first thing that drew me to Red Queen in the beginning, honestly. The upside-down glass crown, the running crimson blood drops…it all meshed so perfectly into an eye-catching, heart-stopping cover. I knew I had to pick it up.

Of course, that’s when the mishmash of reviews began rolling in on my book feeds…and I became a bit wary. I think this book sat on my floor waiting for me to read it for…close to a year, probably. It sat there for a very very long time while I became distracted, let myself love other books, ignored it. I have to admit, I went into this read with very low expectations.

In the fairy tales, the poor girl smiles when she becomes a princess. Right now, I don’t know if I’ll ever smile again.

I can’t fault the prose, or the writing—the descriptions are poetic and gorgeous, just the sort I always fall in love with. They made me see this world, made me feel as if I were a part of it (albeit a very distant, outside part). The plot is fast-paced and full of political intrigue; the world is balanced, a precarious tight-rope walker caught in a windstorm between two of the highest reaching buildings. Everything about this book SEEMED like the sort of thing I’d become obsessed with—except one thing.

The characters, despite the action-packed story, fell very flat for me. Halfway through this read, I realized I didn’t feel anything for them aside from cursory curiousity; they didn’t sing at me, they didn’t leap from the page to take my face in hand and make me care. They were just… There. While the action pulsed around them, while the intrigue became outright revolt and everything fell apart, they were like paper dolls—speaking the right lines without emotion, puppets on a string being pulled to places they didn’t care. If you’ve ever listened to someone make what’s supposed to be a passionate speech with hardly a drop of emotion, you’ll sort of understand what I’m saying here: I didn’t get the sense, from any of these characters, that they were more than flat representations of the people they were MEANT to be.

His lips are on mine, hard and warm and pressing. The touch is electrifying, but not like I’m used to. This isn’t a spark of destruction, but a spark of life. As much as I want to pull away, I just can’t do it. Cal is a cliff and I throw myself over the edge, not bothering to think of what it could do to us both. One day he’ll realize I’m his enemy, and all this will be a far-gone memory. But not yet.

And while the plot itself holds some twists and turns and unexpected diversions… I also found myself catching on to the biggest reveals long before I was meant to. The cliched twists sort of took the enjoyment out of reading this book for me, because I already knew where things were headed, I already knew what was bound to happen next. There was one instant—just one—the author took me by surprise…and that moment was so slight, so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, that I don’t count it here.

Many things led to this day, for all of us. A forgotten son, a vengeful mother, a brother with a long shadow, a strange mutation. Together, they’ve written a tragedy.

Overall… I enjoyed this read, but I won’t be calling it a favorite. The plot was fun, some of the changes to well-known ideas were entertaining to read, but the characters felt more like soulless dolls than actual people. I’d still recommend readers try this book, especially those who enjoy dystopian worlds, paranormal/supernatural powers, and political intrigue—perhaps you’ll find something I didn’t. I will probably still pick up book two—I’m invested in the story, after all, and need to know what happens next.


A Review of Soul Breaker (City of Crows #1), by Clara Coulson


There’s a hideous monster on the loose, crushing heads and taking names.

But Detective Calvin Kinsey is on the case

Two years ago, Cal Kinsey was an up-and-coming cop in the Aurora Police Department. But during a fateful nighttime stakeout in search of a prolific killer, Cal witnessed the darkest corner of his dreams come to life. A rogue vampire slaughtered his partner — to put it nicely — and introduced Cal to the supernatural world he never knew existed in the shadows.

Now, Cal is a newly minted detective at the often mocked Department of Supernatural Investigations. By day, the agents of DSI are called “Kooks” by local law enforcement. By night, they’re known as “Crows,” reviled by the supernatural underworld.

Mere weeks out of the academy, Cal catches his first real case, a vicious murder at a local college. An unknown sorcerer has summoned a powerful creature from the Eververse, a realm of magic and mayhem that borders Earth, and set it on a dangerous warpath through the city.

Between butting heads with his grumpy team captain, stirring up ill will with the local wizards and witches, and repeatedly getting the crap beaten out of himself, Cal must find a way to stop the Eververse monster and send it back to the hell it came from…

…preferably before Aurora, Michigan runs out of coffins for the dead.

– – – – –

Rating: 4.5/5 Stars
Quick Reasons: quirky, snarky, awesome main character; a well-rounded cast of personalities in the rest of the crew; great build-up; detailed, enthralling action scenes; interesting magic, unique set of monsters; the creativity and fun is top-notch

Clara Coulson, you just landed yourself on my “new favorite authors” list… Which is saying a lot, because I don’t read books with detective/cop main characters. Like…ever. I avoid them like the plague, usually, because I know they’re just not up my alley.

Due to a pre-established “read to review” exchange with the author, I received an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. This is the the biggest reason I even read this novel (well, that and I trust the author to do right by her readers, and therefore wasn’t worried—honestly, this was the other big reason: I trusted the author to do this right). Huge thanks to Clara Coulson for this opportunity!

It’s always the little choices, isn’t it, that sneak up on you with the big damn consequences.

This read was absolutely AMAZING! Our main man, Calvin Kinsey, is the perfect blend of snark, naive dumbassery, morally sound, and traumatically-touched. Fresh off a stint with the local PD that ended very badly for his partner and brought Cal into the fold of the supernatural, he joins up the local branch of DSI—Department of Supernatural Investigations. For real, guys—this is hardcore detective work! And Clara Coulson has his character so patched-down and figured out, you won’t once doubt the validity of his existence in this world. His voice and personality shine off the page so brilliantly, you’ll think he’s nestled himself into the back of your brain to whisper his story to you. The world itself—filled with magic, hidden agendas, and dangerous monsters—leaps just as fully off the page from the get-go, dragging you into the murk and the mire and making you rethink your stance (whatever that may be) on believing in the impossible or unbelievable.

The rest of the motley crew don’t fall short, either! Each character, each monster, each moment jumps so fully to life around you, you’ll lose track of the real world while reading. Coupled with the snarky dialogue and sassy internal monologues of our protagonist is a mystery revealed in layers and crafted to perfection. There are moments, I admit, when you’ll find yourself spluttering, wondering how our characters could possibly allow something so stupid to occur…only to realize that everyone’s human. Nobody can be on top of everything all the time.

Calvin Kinsey, ballsy as hell, idiotic beyond belief, leaps through the portal into the Eververse, lands on his feet in the Etruscan Underworld, points a finger at a flaming skeleton, and yells, “Not so fast, motherfucker!”

In fact, I think this is one of Clara Coulson’s strongest writing talents: making even the most monstrous creatures, in the end, seem so utterly human. Our big bads are not there ONLY to wreak havoc on the city and leave a smeared mess of brain matter and blood behind, we find out…but there for a purpose. In the end, Cal Kinsey—ballsy, snarky, often naive and stupid in his quest for honesty and justice—even convinces them, somehow, to admit that not every shade of innocent or guilty is equal in the eyes of the law (no matter the law being called into question).

The creativity and whimsy of this read—to take something as blasé and everyday as detective work and mold it into a spell-binding, enthralling battle of magics and supernatural…and to make it work…is, I’m sure, not an easy feat. There are no loose ends in this read (except the obvious mysteries I’m sure we’ll be delving into in future stories from the series). There is a small cliffhanger at the end of the novel, but it doesn’t involve the potential death of characters (at least, not so far as we’re told) and instead focuses on a series of moments seen by Cal in the Etruscan Underworld. There is no big need to “hurry up and read the next one” in the sense that a character’s existence hangs in the balance; instead, the world and characters are so meticulously crafted, you’ll want to read the next one just to READ it. (That’s a very garbled sentence; I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.)

The gates of hell open up before me, a wave of heat, a wind of bile, a scream of agony in the night, and a creature from the black abyss steps out to greet me. It’s the personification of all that is unholy, all that is wretched, all that is wrong, all that tastes like salt and cyanide. All wrapped up in the form of a man in a long brown trench coat.

Overall, this fast-paced read of whimsy, magic, and the supernatural was entertaining, at times cringe-inducing, and wholly original. I’d definitely recommend to lovers of magical realism, big uglies who are * actually * villains (sort of?) and morals that you can stand behind. This was an awesome read; I can’t wait for the second book!