8

Dear How-To Penguin… (#4)

dear-how-to-penguin

Dear Bookish Waddler:

BOW DOWN TO ME, YOUR NEW RULER!

Step away from the pages, close out of goodreads, stop scrolling through bookstagram!  As of this moment, you WILL do as I say, because….

Oh, who am I kidding?!  I’ll never take over the world.  I’m not intimidating or scary or even TALL.  I’m just a tiny floof of panda with dreams too big to hold.

Tell me, TELL ME, Penguin–how do I make this thing happen!?  HOW do I take over as ruler and grand vizier of everything?

Please, send help!

Yours,

I’m So Nervous, I’m Binge-Eating Bamboo

Dearest Power-Hungry,

That was SO stinkin’ adorable, I’m not sure how to even handle myself right now!  I can only imagine littly floofy you wielding your bamboo stick like a scepter, chest puffed up and head held high!

Related image

Seriously, don’t ever shave your fur–the scariest critters are the ones no one suspects, so you’ve already got that working for you.

As for the rest, here’s what I recommend……

confidence

Even the cute and cuddly can be dark, evil villains deep down inside!  Just take Pinky and the Brain, for instance–they’re teensy lab rats, but they hold onto their dreams and refuse to give in.

What you need is a mantra–something that will inspire and motivate you in rough moments.  If you believe you’re all-powerful, it’s only a matter of time before you ARE all-powerful.

I’ll be the first to bow at your feet….but I don’t recommend making your mantra out of Fuzzy Wuzzy.  That goes back to the whole “never shave your fur” advice I gave you not long ago.

Don’t do it!

sidekick-it

Because ruling the world is hard work, and even the most evil of evil villains need to sleep sometime!  Appointing a sidekick saves you both a headache and your sanity (unless you WANT?  to be insane, in which case, scratch this out entirely)  Plus, it’s nice to have someone to lean on when certain plots fall through loopholes ooooor certain superheroes screw things up.

Not to toot my own horn, but… I’m currently available.  I’m booksmart, I’m reliable, and I’m willing to do whatever’s needed to make your dreams reality.  All I need it your guarantee I’ll have all the tuna I could ever want.

Plus, we’d look fantabulous all up in our black and white.  Think about it.

Related image

letteringno

Paper just isn’t intimidating.  At ALL.  I get it, you’re new to this, but trust me–letters are the worst way to go.

If you really want to make a statement (and hold the world at attention), you need to go BIG.  And I don’t mean big in a, “my momma’s gonna be SO proud of me!” type way.  I mean GARGANTUAN.  MASSIVE.  “My momma’s so proud of me, she’s TERRIFIED and sort of wants to call the police!”

It’s a good thing I’ve got your back–you’re all set to take over TV and internet broadcasting tomorrow afternoon.

Which reminds me, you might want to throw a speech together.  I don’t need you looking a fool in front of everyone after all the work I’ve gone to for you!

playact

THIS is probably the most important piece of advice I could ever give you.  If you don’t talk like, hold yourself like, or look like the most evil of evil villains in the world….no one, and I mean NO ONE, is going to take you seriously.  They’ll turn off the TV, pick up their children, and go about their lives.  And nothing will have changed.

SO LOOK THE PART!

How do you do this?  Well, that’s up to you.  You could chisel your teeth into fangs, sharpen your claws into razors, and paint yourself red with blood.  You could keep yourself tidy but dress to the nines in steampunk and lace.  You could walk around in only your fur, and carry the dead on a pike.

Figure out the message you want to send, and then stick with it!

Related image

And that, my poofy friend, is how you put your plan into motion!  Of course, you’ll have to figure out the specifics–how you’re going to punish the rebels, what you expect the world to do under your reign, any and every escape clause you can think of because you and I BOTH know them foxes be clever and will likely attempt to murder you for the throne.

Personally, I’m hoping to see a dystopian come of this–those are always the most entertaining reads!

But you better work quickly, if you’re serious.  Your cue for the camera comes in less than a day!  I hope you’re ready to get those paws dirty.

Your (hopeful) partner–

howto

***P.S. You can all blame Annelise for this post.***

 

Advertisements
5

Dear How-To Penguin… (#3)

dear-how-to-penguin

Dear Princess Penguin–

I have been feeling so bored with my usual playlist!  Don’t get me wrong–I love the songs on my iPod, but I’m thinking it’s time to change things up.  Find a new siren to be serenaded by, if you will.

So let me ask you:  how do you discover new tunes to jam to?  Do you keep your own personal scale-tailed friend in your closet?!  Are there tiny angels hiding in your cupboards?

Tell me your secrets, or feel the wrath of my disco-studded glare!

Sincerely,

I’m Falling Out of Love with Fall Out Boy

Dear Despairing Disco–

How did you ever figure out my secret?!  Yes, I’ll be honest–this last January I went seeking out new songs.  I traveled far and wide in search of unusual beats, unique artists, emotive and evocative notes.  I returned to my home town world-weary and downtrodden, having only stumbled upon more of the same old, same old.

In my darkest moment, I settled atop a nearby canal.  I meant to organize my thoughts and calm my hurting heart, but minutes after sitting, the silence of the night was broken!  Nearby, someone was singing–a haunting melody the likes of which I’d never heard!

Of course, I had to bring her home with me.  Her name is Treble, and you’re right–she lives in my closet.  It’s just too bright out in the world for her.  She’s not as big as you’d expect, though–and her tail doesn’t have scales.  I’d tell you more about what she looks like, but she could kill me with a single note–I think it’s best I don’t risk it.

Image result for winking gif

Okay, all right, I jest.  Mostly.

Here are the ACTUAL ways I discover new music–hopefully they help you, too!

Find a Friend to Share Music With

Facebook messenger makes this super easy if you’re sending youtube linkies–just copy/paste the URL and it’ll instantly become a video for your buddy to watch ASAP!

Of course, this is only recommended if you know your friend shares similar tastes as you.  It would be rather silly to send country songs to someone who ONLY listens to hiphop; sure, they might appreciate the song, but it’s likely they won’t listen to it at all because DON’T WANNA!

Pay Attention to Youtube Recommendations!

What I mean is… if you visit youtube regularly and have an account there (I have one through my gmail account, and it’s awesome sauce) scroll down and check out the vids youtube thinks you ought to check out next!

I usually find AT LEAST one music video waiting for me to click on.  Therefore, I always make sure to check the list out when I visit youtube–and this leads to at least an hour of binge-listening each day!

Image result for help! gif

Put Spotify to the Test!

And by this, I mean USE those playlists!  There are SO MANY options for you on Spotify, I don’t know why you wouldn’t already be using these to your advantage.

There’s one that I, personally, ADORE and use consistently.  It’s called Discover Weekly.  Basically, the Spotify Sirens keep track of any new artists or songs that I “love” throughout the week…and then compile a playlist of similar music/artists for me!

I get a new song list from them every Monday, and the Spotify Serenaders go another week with their job.  Win-win!  Plus, it’s one of the highlights of my week–I always look forward to seeing what new things my Music Santa has gifted me!

Pay Attention to your Facebook Feed

Because I don’t know about YOUR friends, but there’s always at least one person sharing music on my feed.  Sometimes, it’s music I already knew about.  Sometimes, it’s music I don’t really care TO know about.  And sometimes, it’s the quickest, easiest way to discover new tunes EVAR.

Of course, there ARE other ways out there–I mean, you could go to twitter and ask for recommendations.  You could set up your goodreads friends’ request and ask those applying to share their favorite song with you.  You could….put an antenna on your head and call yourself Mister JimSlam.  THESE ways, listed here?  are just the ones that I seem to use the most–because routines, man!  I just can’t break out of them when they’re working for me!

Related image

Here’s hoping these tips lead you to your own song siren–or at least help in your search for the new and spunky uptown funk!

Happy listening!

howto

1

How THIS Penguin Budgets for Happiness

ht-bfh

Okay, penguins–quit your waddling and gather ’round the Community Igloo.  Today, I want to talk to you about money.

“BUT BETH!” your eager beaks are bound to interrupt.  “We’re penguins!  How can we talk money when we don’t even have POCKETS?!

Image result for jim carrey series of unfortunate events gifs

To which I have two things to say.  First:  it’s 2016!  You can put pockets on literally EVERYTHING.  You could sew fabric flaps to your palms, call them pockets, and carry your collection of mate-catching pebbles around in them…and nobody would ever think twice.  And second:  I don’t JUST want to talk money.  I want to talk budgeting.

This post was inspired by

7 Ways to Budget for Happiness

from:

Earnest

Their mission:

Data-driven insights, real-world experience, expert advice, access to your peers.

“We believe these are some of the essential elements in building a solid foundation for your life, whether that’s your money, career, or relationships. With Earnest news and content, our aim is to provide you with the right information so you can create exactly the life you want.”

***please note: all comments and opinions featured in this blog post are from the heart and mind of your friendly neighborhood Princess Penguin.  Yes, that means ME!***

Budgeting for Happiness

Image result for calculating gif

In my neck of the internet, this basically boils down to one big question:  How the HECKLES do I pay all the bills and eat and keep myself alive?!?!?!  Because, you know, staying alive is the first and most important factor in continuing to budget for my happiness.

Recently, I fell into a fair amount of trouble with money.  The problem:  hospital bills from YEARS ago…and rabid debt collectors.  For about a week, my life was filled with panic attacks, crying, and my overactive imaginative trying very hard to convince itself I was bound to end up destitute.

Now, I’m a very lucky penguin–I was able to ask for, and receive, help from my family.  In fact, I was given SO much help, I don’t have to panic about footing the debt bills again until March of 2017.  Thank you, Grandma Penguin, for loving me so much!

So what’s the point of this story?  Well, it helps lead me into my focus story.

How *I* Budget

(please keep in mind, this does not and/or will not work for EVERYBODY.  this is just how I, personally, go about keeping my finances straight)

Image result for counting cash gif

Every week, I step into my brain office, tidy the desk, and dance the two-step with my bank account.  The order goes something like this:

1–Peek at my bank account/balance (I bank online, which makes this super easy)

2–Subtract from my balance what money is left for DEBT RELIEF BILLS OF DOOM.  What’s left is *my* personal money.

3–Do I have any bills coming up?  Are there any bills that haven’t been taken out yet, but will very soon be?  Subtract any and all from my total.

4–Do I need insulin/diabetic supplies/other medications/to see the doctor/etc and so forth and so on?  Subtract these amounts from my total.

5–Do I need food?  Go shopping.  Subtract this from my total.

Image result for the grinch gif

I’ve set it up so a certain amount comes out of each paycheck for specific bills–YAY for automatic payment schedules!  The remaining costs–for food, medical supplies, laundry change, etc–are split between the two pay periods a month.

Usually, this means I have between $100 and $300 to spare.

So…how do I budget for happiness?!

Let’s take a look…

Image result for throwing money gif

Pay the Bills

I start by making sure all my bills are paid!  Why?  Well, happiness in my world depends upon:

–running lights (so I can read, and blog, and stalk all of you weirdos on social media…)
–hot showers (I mean… tuna fish reeks, so I try to wash myself and save the planet)
–staying warm (totally goes against penguin-ing here, but so what?!)
–being able to afford my life-saving medications (the grave is NOT a penguin’s friend)
–barring the wolves from my door (because I like to be the hunter, not the hunted)

All of which is MUCH more easily managed when the bills are paid, and paid on time.

If you have loans from college, Earnest could be a good option to refinance those loans because they allow you to skip or change the amount you can pay on a monthly basis to fit your budget.

Feed my Belly

Because HELLO?!  A hungry penguin is NOT a happy penguin.  Have you SEEN me when I’m hungry?  It’s not a pretty sight.  Food is good, folks!  And good food is even better!

Keep Emergency Funds

I’ve learned you should always expect the unexpected.  Having a  little money set aside helps keep me from panicking when the unexpected eventually happens…and it ALWAYS, eventually, happens.

And finally…

Splurge a Little

Obviously, I don’t allow myself to go out every paycheck to BUY ALL TEH THINGS!  That would be silly, and does not a happily budgeted wallet make!

But sometimes, it’s okay to take stock of your savings and buy yourself something nice–even if “something nice” means one large caviar with seasalt Starbucks, or that tub of expensive tuna fish ice cream you’ve been eyeballing in the store.

“Splurging” doesn’t have to mean “going all out,” after all!

Image result for aladdin genie gif

And there you have it–budgeting for happiness, the penguin way!  Of course, there’s nothing a little sunshine, a good book, and a soft pillow can’t change…but that’s a different happiness budget entirely!

Did you find this post helpful?  Have something you’d like to share or ask? How do YOU budget for happiness?  Feel free to leave your thoughts below, and go check out

Earnest

for more budgeting and financing tips!

Image result for penguin peace gif

Princess Penguin, OUT.

New Sig

2

How To: Freak the FRACKLE Out Over Scary Video Games

HowTo Freak

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING!

“Beth!  You JUST posted a how to yesterday, are you sick?!  Is the world ending?!  Have you run out of tuna fish?!”

To which I respond:  “Well, not really.  I certainly hope not, I have more penguin-ing to do!  YESYESYES IT’S A DEFINITE PROBLEM!  Also I can’t find my hoard of pebbles; how do they always disappear overnight?!”

The truth is, this penguin decided to start a horror of a video game last night…in the dark…with headphones on instead of listening to it through the tv speakers…

Let’s just say, I’m both TERRIFIED and ABSOLUTELY ADDICTED all at once.

What is the game, you ask?

Image result

This one.  THIS.  THIS GAME!  Oh my penguins, penguins, this game will knock the floof out of your little penguin chests without even really trying.  And it’s AWESOME.

 But it got me thinking–I talked, yesterday, of how to flail like a penguin.  But what about the other emotions?!  I mean, even penguins get scared sometimes.  Feel pain.  Are sad.  So, let’s focus on one of those, yes?  I give you:

How to Freak the FRACKLE Out Over Scary Video Games

(we’re not even going to TALK about the fact that Bau was sitting next to me laughing his butt off the whole time, because ROOD.  ROOD, DUDE.  Rood!  I should make him go tuna fish hunting for this hungry penguin as punishment…)

So.  I started the game, and at first, it was all like:

Image result for scared potter gif

Image result for scared potter gif

And then…creaky noises, weird notes, flickering lights, which led to…

Image result for okay, maybe a little gif

Image result for okay, maybe a little gif

But see…that was only the PROLOGUE!  I didn’t even know.  I had no idea.  Once chapter one started, it became more like all of this:

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gif

Image result for scared gifImage result for scared gif

Uhm.  So…I stopped just after Chapter Two started.  I intend, at some point today probably, to keep on trucking, but…

Needless to say, this game?  Total awesome.  BUT OH MY PENGUINS, HORRIFYING!

What have you guys been playing lately?  Have any game recommendations you think I should consider?!  Let me know in the comments!

Until next time, happy book-ing!  And remember–it’s okay to freak the frackle out like a human now and then.  Even penguins need to scream sometimes.

New Sig

7

How To: React to a Steal of a Book Deal Like a PRO

Steal of a Deal

Because book penguins are ALL ABOUT saving money on our obsession.  I mean c’mon, we’re PENGUINS–we don’t get paid to be cute, usually, and our tuxedos don’t come equipped with pockets.

Generally, I’m all about making up lists and explaining, to the PERIOD, how to do all the things that I, as a professional book penguin, do best…but I feel this topic, in particular, calls for a list of a different sort.  Plus, my beak is just a bit full of pebbles–gotta find the perfect book mate, after all, and there are LOTS of pretty pebbles to go around!

So I present to you:

HOW TO REACT TO A STEAL OF A BOOK DEAL LIKE A PRO… IN GIFs!

because who needs words when you can have flails, anyway?!

Image result for penguin walk gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin walk gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin wings gif

Image result for penguin tickle gif

Image result for penguin fall gifImage result for penguin fall gif

Image result for penguin fall gif

I mean….basically your life should  be full of flailing, falling over, pushing other penguins out of your way, annnnd convincing other penguins to dive down the dark hole of painful reads with you because SHARING IS CARING, OKAY?!  If I’m gonna hurt, SO ARE YOU!

2

How To: Be the BEST Book Penguin EVAR (so basically, how to be me!)

I’m sure you’ve already figured this out (I mean, you guys are all so soopah smart!) but… I’m a pretty rockin’ book penguin.  They should totes make a movie about me in the future.  Working title:  The Beak and the Bookshelves.  Featuring me, obvs–12 full hours of me in a chair, READING!  Wouldn’t that just be the bestest movie EVAR?!  Of course it would.  I’m pitching it to producers this weekend.

But I digress–let’s get back on track here!  Do you all know the movie The Pebble and the Penguin? (no, nooooo, I toooooooootes don’t want to go shove it in my DVD player now, c’mon that’s just crazy talk…) If you DON’T know this movie, you need to drop everything right this second and go find a copy–it’s super adorable.  If you DO know this movie, kudos!–you’ll better understand the next few sentences!

So the ENTIRE plot of the movie…is to find the most perfectest prettiest pebble in the WORLD in order to attract the most perfectest prettiest penguin mate, basically.  I mean, obvs I’ve left some things out, but basically this is the movie.  WHY does this matter?!

I’m here to tell you, being the bestest most perfectest book penguin evar?!  Is preeeeeeeeetty much exactly the same thing, except with books.  And, well, the only one you really have to impress is yourself.  Isn’t that GREAT?!  I think it’s GREAT.  I’m totes making this work for me.

“BUT BETH!”  I know you’re saying.  “You’re the greatest most epical book penguin I know!  How could I possibly compete?!”

To which I say…. Welcome to my newest blog post!

HT Be a Book Penguin

Disclaimer:  I do not guarantee you WILL, following these steps, be just as awesome sauce a book penguin as I.  I will always be better, because I will always be the first.  But…you can come close!

NN

Not every book penguin is the same, and that’s both A-OKAY and exactly the way it should be!  Can you imagine a world full of ME?!  That’s a scary idea, and one I never ever want to experience EVAR.  Seriously, one of me is almost TOO much for this world to handle!

Now, finding your nesting niche means a great many many things.  Let’s walk through them:

–the types of books you want to read
–the types of posts you want to produce
–how you want your blog to look
–who your target audience is
–how you want to come across to your readers

Of course, this may not be ALL the proper penguin-dance steps, but…well, a lot of it comes down to breaking it down.  So let’s shall, yes?

TBTE

Now, I’m not saying you HAVE to have your ice igloo all built and pretty going into this–sometimes, figuring out your theme is the MOST DIFFICULT PART!  I mean seriously, it took me almost an entire year to figure out how I wanted my blog to look and implement the penguin army.  So if you only have a vague idea, or you’re not sure where to start, don’t panic!

Some things to keep in mind, though, when you begin seeking out your forever (or yearly, or monthly, or weekly, or EVERY OTHER DAY because you get bored quickly like I do) “home”–

–is the text readable?
–is the background too bright, or too dark?
–is your page TOO cluttered, or too sparse?
–are you going to have a bio on a separate page, in the sidebar, or both?
–are you okay using graphics, or have you decided to not?

In the end, this is honestly ALL ABOUT YOU and driving your personality home, but certain things might drive your readers away.  Clashing colors, text that is too intricate or too tiny, a very cluttered and eye-heavy backdrop… These things DO matter, so wander around the blog block a little and figure out what things you like and what things you don’t about other people’s pages!  Trust me, this helps!

UBOU

No matter WHAT, you want your blog to BE another part of you.  I mean…think of it like muscle building.  Are you the type of penguin who puffs out their chest and loves to be noticed?!  You’ll probably mold your blog more toward your unique and individualized personality.  For instance, my blog?  is FULL of penguins, bright colors, and fun graphics.  I also fill my posts with shouting, snark, and silly wordplay, because those are all the things that make me, ME.

You don’t have to be flashy and loud, though–if you’re more reserved, the type of penguin who holds their wings close to themselves and keeps their beak down, that’s cool too!  Try to put yourself into your posts where you can–even quiet penguins can and should be noticed, after all!

RMM

Now, this is where it starts getting a bit more difficult–and much more based on your own personal preferences!  I, personally, chose early on to post ALMOST.  EVERY.  DAY.  Of course, this can–and IS–exhausting.  Some days, I come home and all I want to do is crawl into my ice cave of darkness.  Some days, I just don’t have the energy.  Scheduling posts ahead of time helps with this immensely–I don’t always get all the posts done that I WANT, but I can at least get some done ahead of time and be sure I’ll still have something posted up.

I also chose to participate in memes almost every day of the week.  This may change in the future–there are, of course, some that are less popular than others.  But right now, the memes keep my bird-brain busy, and I personally enjoy putting those posts together.  Not everyone does, though–and a lot of authors/publishers, when seeking out people for reviews, tend to avoid blogs who put out MORE memes than they do reviews/unique posts.  You’ll notice, even though I post a lot of memes, I ALSO post a TON of reviews and original blogs as well–it balances out.

You don’t HAVE to do memes, though, just like you don’t HAVE to post reviews, or make up your own unique flavor of blogs… It’s really all up to you, and what you want out of your blog!

GS

If you ARE in the book reviewing field, you’ll realize RIGHT AWAY that people want to know what to expect out of your reviews.  Again, don’t worry if you don’t have this all figured out when you start up!  This is, like almost everything in life, a learning/growth spectrum–life changes, and so will you in the course of your blogging career!  (Trust me, my reviews haven’t always been as web-toe spectacular as they are now!  That, like my blog theme, took almost a year to perfect, and I’m sure they’ll change again in the future!)

It helps, though, to have a general idea the sort of things you most want to read.  When I started this blog, I was still sort of “stuck” in the same old things I’d always picked up–I hadn’t yet expanded my reading circle, so instead was focused a lot on the authors I grew up reading.  Soon after discovering goodreads, though, I noticed a drastic shift in my reading habits.  I started by picking up ALL THE YA OF EVAR, especially dystopian novels, because that’s what kick-started my obsession.  And then, after several months of experimentation, I branched out again… and AGAIN… and AGAIN!  Now, you can expect to see a ton of different genres–romance, erotica, steampunk, thriller…

and a TON of indie books!  This year especially for me has been ALL ABOUT the indie authors, and guys, let me tell you–it’s the best decision I’ve ever made for my reading life.

If you LOVE a certain type of book and only want to focus on books like it, DO IT!  If you’re more like me and get bored SOOPAH easily (and therefore need some spicy tuna in your life), DO THAT!  Go out there and pick up a few different genres.  Experiment, let yourself try new things, figure out what you most want out of your reading world.  Trust me, this will go a long way for you!

WYYA

And of COURSE, blogger penguins NEED other blogger penguins to yell at, to recommend things to, to hold discussions with, to sob over those crazy characters with…. which means you need to figure out what type of READER you most want on your blog!

Now, there are several ways you’ll probably want to go about this one.  First, READ OTHER BLOGS!  Seriously, penguins, you can’t figure out for sure who you’re yelling at if you’re not seeing how OTHER people yell first, right?!  Reading other blogs will help you figure out your tone, your post personality, your…literally pretty much everything.  I, for instance, tend to ADORE other blogger penguins who use copious amounts of snark and humor–and therefore, I use over the top amounts of this, myself!  (my cup runneth over with sass, guys.  so much sass!)

Second…figure out WHO you want to be yelling at.  Are you aiming for a specific type of reader?  Are you seeking to be a book blog and a book blog ONLY?  Do you want to throw in other types of communities (chronic illnesses, for instance, or movies, or video games, or…?)  All of this will help you narrow your telescope in on your target audience, and (hopefully, web-toes crossed!) bring more readers flocking to your page!

So what are you waiting for?!  Get out there and find your niche!  Once you do, build yourself an ice-shard nest, sit back on your tail feathers, and watch the penguin-ing commence!  You won’t be QUITE as good at it as I am, but hey–at least you’ll be close!

What do you guys think?  Does this post help you at all?  Did I skip or forget any tips?!  Feel free to share your thoughts with me below!

Until next time, happy book-ing!

New Sig

11

The BEST Ways to Organize Your Bookshelves

We’ve all been there, browsing tumblr or scrolling through our twitter feeds.  Innocently going about our days, when suddenly we stumble across the most gorgeous bookshelf set-up to EVER grace our internet.  Cue the jealousy demon, all red-eyes and dramatic turmoil–complete with annoying, heavy sighs.

How, we find ourselves asking, can I get MY shelves to look like that?!  What must I do, book gods; what must I sacrifice?!

Immediately after which, we spend an INSANE amount of time–eight hours, three weeks, so long we forget when we even started this crazy project and when was the last time we ate?!–completely and utterly FAILING to replicate the gorgeousness that was those shelves.

What, OH WHAT, is a book penguin to do?!?!

Well, worry no longer!  Allow me to introduce you to

Header1

Don’t.  Buy.  Books

I mean, this is obviously the easiest solution.  You don’t have to stress about how to organize your bookshelves if you don’t have BOOKS to put in them!  So go out, buy whatever style bookcase you want (there are some gooooorgeous ones, if you’re brave enough to look!)…

And then tell everybody they’re statement pieces.  Give them long, artsy titles if you’d like–circa This Is Just To Say That We, In General As People, Own Too Much Stuff And Not Enough Space, So I’m Collecting It Here.  It’s a mouthful, but it works.

Alternatively, you could fill your shelves with things NOT books.  Need more closet space because your wonderful significant other has FINALLY decided to move in?!  Bookshelves.  Have a growing collection of Funko! Pops and no place to put them?  Bookshelves.  Developed a strange obsession for all things penguin and want to show them off (and, possibly, traumatize your guests?)  BOOKSHELVES!

See, problem solved!

Switch it Up

And by this, I mean every shelf is different, because we aren’t confused enough already. Maybe the top shelf will be a book spine rainbow, the middle dedicated to that one author who for some reason FAR out numbers all the other authors even if they’re maybe no longer your FAVORITE author…and the bottom to all the pretty covers of ever!  Pick a system–pick several!  Switch it up!

Forget remembering where certain books are–and penguins help you if you need to pull something off the shelves!  There’s no taking it back once it’s organized, so don’t even THINK about it dude.

Also, book avalanches?  Are a thing.  And they HURT.  So pull gently, if you pull at all.

Don’t Shelve ANY of Them

Better yet, get rid of your shelves completely!  You have plenty of unused floor space, right?!  Start stacking!  I recommend starting with books inching up one wall, and then expanding (like skin fungus!) from there.

Make yourself a maze of spines and release your guests/family to the chaos like lab rats solving puzzles for cheese.  I mean, you don’t HAVE to give them cheese…you could use Twizzlers, or more books!  But some incentive is probably a good idea, otherwise people start to smell a bit funky.

Running out of room?!  No problem!  Just dump aaaaaaaaaall the pretties on the floor and learn how to swim.  It’s just like a ball pit, really…except with books!  So, you know, watch the sharp edges, and try not to belly flop–I can’t imagine belly paper cuts feel good.

And there you go!  Three (possibly just slightly insane) ideas on saving yourself the hassle of bookshelf organization!  Because who has TIME to figure out a cleaner way to do this shizz, right?  Penguins knows I don’t.

What do you guys think of these genius suggestions?  Would you ever (or do you already) employ any of them?

(If I’m being 100% honest…we have a whole bookcase worth of books stacked on our dining room table right now, because two bookshelves totally stuffed to the brim does not a lot more room left make).  Feel free to share your thoughts/comments in the down-below, please!

Until next time, happy book-ing!

New Sig