How to Make Out: Sure, Let’s Just Tell the Whole Internet All About It!

Penguin2.3

How to Make Out

Goodreads Rating: 3.39 Stars
284 Pages
Sky Pony Press Publishing
Expected Publication Date: September 6th, 2016
Preorder a copy here!

Sixteen-year-old Renley needs three thousand dollars for the math club’s trip to New York City, and she knows exactly how to get it: she’s going to start a how-to blog where people pay for answers to all of life’s questions from a “certified expert.” The only problems: 1) She doesn’t know how to do anything but long division and calculus. 2) She’s totally invisible to people at school. And not in a cool Gossip Girl kind of way.

So, she decides to learn to do . . . well . . . everything. When her anonymous blog shifts in a more scandalous direction and the questions (and money) start rolling in, she has to learn not just how to do waterfall braids and cat-eye makeup, but a few other things, like how to cure a hangover, how to flirt, and how to make out (something her very experienced, and very in-love-with-her neighbor, Drew, is more than willing to help with).

As her blog’s reputation skyrockets, so does “new and improved” Renley’s popularity. She’s not only nabbed the attention of the entire school, but also the eye of Seth Levine, the hot culinary wizard she’s admired from across the home-ec classroom all year.

Soon, caught up in the thrill of popularity both in and out of cyberspace, her secrets start to spiral, and she finds that she’s forgotten the most important how-to: how to be herself. When her online and real lives converge, Renley will have to make a choice: lose everything she loves in her new life, or everyone she loves in the life she left behind.

3.75Penguins
Quick Reasons: adorable, cutesy romance; Renley’s blogging antics (and subsequent consequences) are entertaining and, at times, absolutely hilarious; DREW IS MY NEWEST BOOK CRUSH, don’t judge me; I giggled, I laughed like a maniac, I made horrendously weird noises and then said the most hilarious thing ever to explain said noises to my husband; basically, this was a TON of fun to read

Huge thanks to Brianna Shrum, Sky Pony Press publishers, and Edelweiss for granting me early access to this title in exchange for an unbiased review! This in no way altered my read of or opinions on this book.

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So, this book? Pretty fantastically adorable. There were TONS of steamy, gooshy moments (and the husband wonders why I get all gooey when reading books like this); there was a lot of teen angst, drama, and explosions (both of the characters-in-the-book-fighting sort, and of my heart splattering like a sad overfluffed pillow—which it did often, and without guilt). Renley is exactly my kind of snark-and-sass perfect; her blogging-for-money antics were also pretty entertaining, at least at first (I mean, the ones near the end? Not so cool, but hey, she’s only human!)

 

I have just a TINY confession to make here, okay? My heart? Belonged to Drew from the very first page he entered the stage. I am completely and one hundred percent trash for Drew, and I will scream it at the top of my lungs from the tallest building in the world if I must. Drew is bae. Drew for life. Drew officially just took the top slot in my “fictional crush” rankings. Don’t judge me—you do it too!

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Up until about the 60% mark of this read, I was having a TON of fun. Renley was hilarious and entertaining. Drew was just freaking adorable and emotive and totally snagging my heart with each page. I laughed. I snorted in very unlady-like ways several times. I yelled at Renley. And then it happened. I made the most horrendous, ANGRY noise of ever…and the husband froze. I giggled, and then… “I think I just exorcised a demon.” And then I died laughing at myself, while the husband refused to move from his frozen state. I think he thought I might hurt him if he did. Most hilarious moment of the week? Totally nailed it. (side note: the husband has since told me I need to “stop getting so into” my books)

 

Like I said, this book was entertaining and light-hearted and wonderful. And Drew? Absolutely I would run away with him if given the chance, because he’s adorable. But…there wasn’t MUCH to this story, in the end. Which is fine—I get it was meant to be light and fluffy and sort of like those chick flick movies we all turn to when stress runs high and we need a break (you all know the ones I’m talking about. I think.) So I wasn’t expecting life-changing. I wasn’t expecting huge growth on the characters’ parts. Renley DOES learn from her experience, and the world goes on, and things are nice and tidy at the end. TADA! Cutesy contemporary in three easy steps!

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Seriously, though, guys—this read is adorable. It made me make really weird, awkward, involuntary noises several times in the course of the journey. My cold penguin heart grew about five sizes too big and promptly splattered the walls with glitter glue. The world is officially good again—and I recommend this to anyone who adores contemporaries, “friends-to-lovers” journeys, and side-splitting hilarity. I am SO glad I picked this one up; I needed the laughter this brought to my life today. You should give it a try, too!

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