The 12 Steps of Book Addiction

1. We admitted we were weak in bookstores—especially half-priced ones.

2. We decided cleaner, neater shelves and more floor room might bring back our sense of control.

3. We set in place a book buying ban in hopes our friends and families might forgive us.

4. We inventoried, swapped, and sold to get our book count under _______ (insert personal goal here).

5. We reminded ourselves, our family, and our friends (every time we went out) NOT to go to bookstores, drug stores, or other retail vendors with books on the premises.

6. We stopped asking for books as gifts in hopes people would stop buying them for us.

7. We avoided the temptation of peeking at other people’s shelves when visiting their homes.

8. We begged forgiveness from family, friends, and strangers for the mountains of books they may or may not have been crushed beneath when visiting our home.

9. We made apologies to those we pushed our habits onto, promising to never suggest to, throw at, or hit them with (metaphorical—usually!) books.

10. We held ourselves in check—and took away chocolate as punishment for every break of our book buying ban.

11. We sought distraction via soap operas, popular television, and internet memes—seeking out books wherever we could find them.

12. We realized, having struggled and resisted for so long, our problem was all in our heads and, with a shriek of glee, hastened to the nearest book seller.

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